i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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