No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
