Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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