the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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