mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize