I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize