Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
