I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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