All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
