the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize