I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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