Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm sobbing to NWA