No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.