what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
