I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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