He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
