And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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