dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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