You're my little dorito
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
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Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
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You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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