Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Randomize
