If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
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I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
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What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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