White coat. Heels.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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