This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize