My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
