Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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