i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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