yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
