Don't you send me to vm
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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