woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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