He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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