When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Randomize
