Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
