Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
