dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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