We're like a lot better than the average bears
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
