You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
