I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
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