If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
