trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
