I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
