kristin has been a bad kristin
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
