How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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