I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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