i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
