i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
