when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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