Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize