**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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