His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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