Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
