Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
