My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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