stop calling my apartment porn island.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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