Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I lost the right to judge tonight
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
