I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
