with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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