I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
