nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
