You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
