WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
