why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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