Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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