Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My penis needs a shock collar
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
