Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
